a small man in a handsome vest made of seashells.
"It's fighting time. Talking's for later."
Initial visit :
"Why, hullo there, <Gender>. And who might ye be?"
Gave name :
"Well met, <Gender> <Last Input>. Let me tell ye a tale."
Didn't give name :
"Oho, that be a name in need of a story."
Subsequent visits, gave name :
"Why, hullo there, <Avatar Name>. Have I told ye the one about the gypsies?"
yes-"Oh. Perhaps a song, then."
no-"Now there's a tale."
"Culham's me name, <Gender>."
"When spirits be low, I play tunes to bring cheer."
"Once I heard a haunting melody..."
"...in Old Magincia." He laughs.
"Well, it used to be a ghost town."
He laughs and plays a little tune on his lute.
"The Mantra of Valour bringeth great cheer."
"I'm not a great singer, but I love to play a song of valour."
"It makes me sing."
"I'll sing, though I'd rather play."
"Would ye really like to hear a story?"
no-"Well, not everyone likes gypsy tales, I suppose."
yes-"I call this story..."
"Two gypsies come to Trinsic, hungry as usual."
"One goes out and gathers a poisonous weed from the swamps."
"The other sneaks into town and puts the plant into the trough of a horse."
"Well, poor horse doesn't know better."
"He eats the stuff, swells up and takes ill."
"The owner, Immanuelle, doesn't know what to do."
"Along come the gypsies. 'Aiee!' they cry."
"'Yonder nag hath contracted 'Arturosis.'"
"Unless it be immediately removed, the rest shall catch the same fatal disease.'"
"Immanuelle decides to sacrifice the diseased one and the gypsies agree heartily."
"'For but a few coins,' say the gypsies,' we will lead it away and bury it far from here.'"
"Immanuelle is too happy to hand them the doomed animal's bridle, plus ten coins."
"So the gypsies make a great kettle of horse stew and bury the rest."
"A great feast is held 'mongst gypsykind."
"Meanwhile, Immanuelle thanks virtue that the equine epidemic was caught early on!"
"'Tis a true story, my friend."
The pub is filled with the sound of singing.
Culham sings for you.
"It seemed like such an easy climb
I crawled upon the Serpent's Spine
I hadn't even time to blanch
When down there came an avalanche!"
"And then my mantra came to mind
'Tho boulders bounced and passed with speed.
My frozen fingers gripped to rock
As sliding snow swept loose my feet."
"Sing 'ra,' my friends, sing 'ra.'
'Tis a song to make thee strong
When the mountains be high
And the ground be far..."
"...Sing 'ra,' my friends, sing 'ra'!"
"Ah, yes. That's quite a story, too."
"Naughty Nomaan dropped the Rune of Valor, and the rat carried it off."
He laughs loudly.
If bar full :
Too loudly. Stelnar and Jerris begin to argue over whether it was a rat or a mouse.
Once again a brawl breaks out!
"May we meet again soon, friend."
"Sorry, I cannot help ye with that."